Monday, July 22, 2013


I know I don't have much of a following on here just yet but just in case there are people who read this I am moving my site to wordpress officially. Thanks everyone!

Dear Harmony - 14 weeks

My dearest lil' momo,

These weeks are flying by! Dad and I have been having so much fun with you this past week! You really are just a breath of fresh air. Even when you start to get uncomfortable or hungry you just let us know with the cutest little squeals and then you smile. I love every sound you make, from the small cough that comes out when you try to laugh, to the cries you let out when you're just wayyy too tired. I'm determined to make you laugh! You are a tough nut to crack little girl. Dad can do it, but I'm still trying my best. I know you just think Dad is the bees knees which is totally okay with me because I think he is too.

This past week your new thing is to grab your feet. You just lie on your back and grab your little toes and pull them up to your mouth. Happy little baby!!! I am still working on have you grab toys so you can bring them to your mouth and you can kind of do it with a lot of guidance, but then you just drop the toy and chew on your hands instead. I sometimes make the mistake of reading too much about development and get worried that you should be using toys more, but then I remind myself that you are going to do just fine. I love that you have an independent spirit and like to spend time on your own. When I try to sing all those silly baby songs to you, you just look at me like I'm nuts! You are just too cool for school.

You are starting to grab onto things more frequently - like my lips and my nose! Last night I pulled you close to give you a kiss and you opened wide and started chewing on my nose! Silly girl! You also have a very strong grip and when you grab my lips its like torture, but I let you do it anyway because I just can't say no to you. The only time you really seem interested in what I'm doing is when I read to you and this makes me so excited. You like it when I read anything to you...children's books or adult, it doesn't matter. I hope you continue to be interested in that because when I was little I was the notorious bookworm of the family.

You had some trouble sleeping this week without your swaddle, but overall it was a wonderful week and I just keep falling more and more in love with being your mommy!!! I love you darling little girl

Saturday, July 20, 2013

Its a small world and a real night out on the town!

On Tuesday we went to Disneyland with our friend Kim and Greg and their little boy Grayson. They just got passes so we just went for the evening. We took the little ones on It's a Small World and it was so much fun!!! She just looked at everything and took it all in and it was so funny to watch. She looked like she was completely beguiled. Grayson was so happy and I really liked seeing his reactions because he is already over a year old and I'm looking forward to when Harmony can react in that way. Right now its just shock and awe which is still really cute. I love going to Disneyland because it's a safe and fun environment to just walk around. Most of the time when we go we don't even go on rides, we just walk around for exercise. I could go every day and it would never get old! If we ever move away from here I will miss Disneyland the most (and In n Out!)

On Thursday night Chris and I went to go see X and the B-52's at the OC fair with my sister and her boyfriend. It was a lot of fun and it was really the first time I got to cut loose in a while. My sister volunteered to drive so I didn't have to worry about how much I had to drink and my mom and dad watched Harmony so I felt totally comfortable leaving her for a few hours. X is my favorite band and I have seen them around 13 times now. It was great to see them again and I always have a great time watching them. It was my second time seeing the B-52's but the first time I was very young so this was a treat. I totally didn't expect them to be so amazing but they really blew me away! I was dancing up a storm! I love getting to do things like that and I just feel really blessed that everything worked out and we were able to have a fantastic evening with no worries or problems. My mom and dad even said that Harmony was an absolute angel the whole evening and even soothed herself to sleep with no crying!!

Last night and today have been a different story though. Harmony is teething and she is very uncomfortable and whiny/fussy. I hope she isn't like this all day because I really want to take her and Chris to this awesome park I just discovered in our city! Heres to adventure everyone! Have an awesome weekend!!!

Sharing magical memories with daddy...

We ran into our cousin at the concert, so good to see him!

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Dear Harmony - 13 weeks

Dear Harmony,

Yesterday you turned 3 months old! My goodness!! I love how much more alert and aware you are these days. You have been babbling and cooing so much more and really starting to notice me and your father. I love that when I am holding you you look at dad like you want to be with him so badly, but then when I hand you over to him you just look back at me ! You are really funny and sweet and kind of soft spoken. I know a lot of other babies your age have already started laughing, but you don't really laugh much. I feel like you are more of a serious person and you dont just laugh at anything. I'd like to think that makes you intelligent.

This past week was very challenging for both of us! I got a horrible case of allergies half way through the week and I was feeling terrible. I could barely give you the attention you needed and I felt so bad! My head was throbbing and I felt dizzy and weak. Of course this had to happen right when you had your 3 month growth spurt! You were up all night wanting to eat and you were eating for 45 minutes at a time! This is really a lot of eating for you because you usually only like to eat for 10 minutes. I was feeling exhausted and stretched pretty thin. Then dad started to get the allergy bug too, so that wasn't fun. I spent a lot of time on the couch watching Mad Men but you were good to me. You let me get away with it :)

On Saturday we bought you a chair that supports you so you could sit up and it has a tray with a bunch of fun toys on it. I don't think you really appreciate those toys yet but I know you will! Its just cute to watch you sit there and stare at the toys not knowing what the heck you are supposed to do with them. Your curious look is really adorable. The weekend was actually full of fun experiences because on Sunday we took you to California Adventure! We have passes and we have taken you there plenty of times already but this was the first time you reacted to things. We took you on the Little Mermaid Ride and you were shocked and amazed by all of the sounds, colors, lights, and music. I got very emotional because all through my pregnancy, dad and I went to Disneyland so much and we would just fantasize about how much fun it was going to be to have you there with us. This experience was the first time that fantasy really came to life for us and I just cant wait to take you there again. We are going tonight actually and I am thrilled to see how you will react to another little ride!

You are an angel in disguise my little momo. Never change! :-P

Monday, July 8, 2013

Mama Monday #5

I feel like this Mama Monday concept is kind of limiting my blogging. I want this blog to be about motherhood in general and so to make Monday the designated day to talk about being a mother makes me not able to talk about that throughout the week. From now on I am going to make Mama Monday a series of letters to my baby girl that she can read someday. I know this probably isn't the most interesting thing for other people to read (or maybe it is! I know I love to read sentimental posts like these) but this will allow me to write more freely later in the week. Many time I will think of something to write about on, say, a Wednesday, and think "well, I should wait until Mama Monday" and then by then I have too many things to potentially write about and I can't choose and I get too distracted.

Okay..I think you all get the point. HAPPY MONDAY EVERY ONE - Hope you all had a wonderful long holiday weekend.

Dear Harmony,

You are 12 weeks old today and I can't believe how much you have grown in such a short period of time. It still feels like I just had you, but you are already starting to outgrow your 3 month clothes! Every day I see more of your personality starting to show and it's really a thrill. You are so smiley! You smile as soon as you wake up in the morning all the way until it is bed time at night. I read to you every morning and you smile the entire time. As soon as you hear daddy's voice you smile so big your whole body shakes. I always want to remember you as this tiny little ball of happiness. I feel so lucky that I get to spend all day with you to make sure you are always happy and safe.

In the beginning, I was so tired and worried sick about everything. I couldn't find my confidence and I was so worried I wasn't doing it right! But as the weeks have gone on I have slowly been figuring things out - it also helps that you practically sleep through the night and started doing so at only 6 weeks!

I love to watch you sleep because you look so peaceful. I hope you always feel close enough with me to take naps together . You are starting to take less naps because you are so consumed with taking the world around you in that you don't want to miss out. I can totally relate to you there! There is so much world to see and you have only seen such a tiny part of it, it excites to me to imagine all of the places I will take you as you grow. You have also discovered your hands and have become quite fond of them. You love to suck and chew on them and you are starting to grab and hold things. you especially like you bunny blanket, I think she is your best friend. I call her your bun-bun, maybe you will too once you learn to talk. For now, you are making all sorts of adorable noises. You "talk" to me and your bun-bun off and on during the day, but when Daddy is around you talk non-stop! You love to carry on "conversations" with him and I love to watch you two interact. It makes my heart sing. YOU make my heart sing.

Speaking of singing, I have been singing to you every day since you were born. I first started singing "Dream A Little Dream of Me" right from your first day home and I sing it every day. Now when you are upset or fussy I sing that song and you calm down right away. It's the most amazing thing. This morning I sang "Edelweiss" and "Somewhere Over The Rainbow" and you were smiling and cooing like you wanted to join in. I hope someday you do!

I can go on forever about the things we have already shared together but I wont, I'll save more for later. I just love you so much and I cherish every second we have the privilege of sharing together. Oh! You just woke up! I better make sure you're okay. I love you lil momo

Love, mama

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

JULY GOALS - link up

Monthly Goals
June Recap:

Eat healthy: I would say I did an overall good job at this, although I should probably eat more since I am breastfeeding

Workout regularly: FAIL. Its so hard to find time to exercise regularly because of the baby, hopefull I can figure out a plan that works for me soon.

Finish a book: FAIL. Maybe I need to start a different book, the book I am reading is just not interesting me at all.

Finish a knitting project: FAIL. I ran out of yarn! (I'm such a rookie)

Oh, June, where did you go!?


Finish a book!

Start redoing my patio/balcony so my husband and I can sit out there and enjoy the summer

Start a blog schedule.

Finish a knitting project!!

Put up the clothes I want to sell on Ebay

Hopefully, this month takes its time! I need to get motivated and I think this linkup is a great idea. Its nice to share goals with others and see what other people are getting accomplished. 
Thanks for stoppin by!

Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Mama Monday (on a Tuesday....woops!)

So I had a very busy Monday because my little one is going through a growth spurt and she wont let me leave her side for more than a few minutes so Im sneaking this in while she naps this morning! I read a very thoughtful article yesterday here and it really made me think about how I see myself.

Ever since I hit puberty when I was 12 I had issues with my weight. I was never a heavy person but I truly saw myself that way. I struggled with bulimia and anorexia off and on all through high school and into college. When I met my husband I was extremely sick and underweight. I barely ate anything and was participating in a plethora of unhealthy habits (smoking, drinking, etc.)

When we were dating I was so happy that I forgot all about that stuff and really started to enjoy life. Once I was pregnant we just decided to indulge and allow ourselves to gain as much weight as we wanted (he decided to do it with me so I wouldn't feel bad, what a sweetie!) and so I gained A LOT of weight. my metabolism was so messed up from the eating disorders that before I even got pregnant I had gained 30 pounds and then throughout my pregnancy I gained another 60. So, in one year I gained 90 pounds. (yes, my husband and I met got married and got pregnant all in one year, crazy I know) Now that my daughter is here I am (very) slowly losing the weight and I have to admit its been really hard on me.

Reading that article made me feel terrible! I should not be so worried about how I look. Harmony is going to see me for what I am, her loving mother. I dont ever want her to go through the things I went through and I realize that I am the first role model she is going to have. I want to show her that life is so much more than being thin. Being a mother has really opened my eyes to how I see myself. I look at pictures of me from before and see how thin I was and it is so sad to me because at that time I truly believed I looked fat. Now I look at myself in the mirror and I feel sexy, curvy, and beautiful. But every once in a while I see a picture that my husband took of me and I think "wow, I'm not sexy at all, I look HUGE!" Why do I do that to myself? It's almost like my brain is so used to thinking that way that I can't help it. I let a picture dictate how I feel when on most days I am feeling amazing! My confidence is higher than it ever has been in my life as well as my happiness.

I feel fulfilled on so many different levels, I don't even know that person who was starving before. I want my daughter to be strong and confident and full of self esteem (all of the things I lost when I hit puberty). I understand that puberty is a tough time for everyone and that most girls go through this at that age but I believe it is because of our society and our surroundings. I live in southern California and it is even more superficial here than other places in America. I have to start really focusing on what I say around her and to her. I need to make sure she is reading appropriate books and not watching too much television that would influence her negatively. I am a young mom, and when I was thinking about getting pregnant I didn't think about all of the things I would be worried about as a mom. I always thought I would be the "cool" mom and be super relaxed in my parenting style. Now that that time in my life is here, I see how much more important it is to be a positive role model as well as a friend. The things I went through in my adolescence were serious and life threatening and I dont just mean the eating problems. She is my creation and I have to stay strong for her above all else.

Sorry this is so long winded, I started with one idea and just got so wrapped up in my feelings. But, this is my blog and I choose to be personal. Women are beautiful and we run the world! Let's start believing that and showing our children what life is really about - family, happiness, truth, freedom - forget the outer candy coated shell.