Monday, July 22, 2013


I know I don't have much of a following on here just yet but just in case there are people who read this I am moving my site to wordpress officially. Thanks everyone!

Dear Harmony - 14 weeks

My dearest lil' momo,

These weeks are flying by! Dad and I have been having so much fun with you this past week! You really are just a breath of fresh air. Even when you start to get uncomfortable or hungry you just let us know with the cutest little squeals and then you smile. I love every sound you make, from the small cough that comes out when you try to laugh, to the cries you let out when you're just wayyy too tired. I'm determined to make you laugh! You are a tough nut to crack little girl. Dad can do it, but I'm still trying my best. I know you just think Dad is the bees knees which is totally okay with me because I think he is too.

This past week your new thing is to grab your feet. You just lie on your back and grab your little toes and pull them up to your mouth. Happy little baby!!! I am still working on have you grab toys so you can bring them to your mouth and you can kind of do it with a lot of guidance, but then you just drop the toy and chew on your hands instead. I sometimes make the mistake of reading too much about development and get worried that you should be using toys more, but then I remind myself that you are going to do just fine. I love that you have an independent spirit and like to spend time on your own. When I try to sing all those silly baby songs to you, you just look at me like I'm nuts! You are just too cool for school.

You are starting to grab onto things more frequently - like my lips and my nose! Last night I pulled you close to give you a kiss and you opened wide and started chewing on my nose! Silly girl! You also have a very strong grip and when you grab my lips its like torture, but I let you do it anyway because I just can't say no to you. The only time you really seem interested in what I'm doing is when I read to you and this makes me so excited. You like it when I read anything to you...children's books or adult, it doesn't matter. I hope you continue to be interested in that because when I was little I was the notorious bookworm of the family.

You had some trouble sleeping this week without your swaddle, but overall it was a wonderful week and I just keep falling more and more in love with being your mommy!!! I love you darling little girl

Saturday, July 20, 2013

Its a small world and a real night out on the town!

On Tuesday we went to Disneyland with our friend Kim and Greg and their little boy Grayson. They just got passes so we just went for the evening. We took the little ones on It's a Small World and it was so much fun!!! She just looked at everything and took it all in and it was so funny to watch. She looked like she was completely beguiled. Grayson was so happy and I really liked seeing his reactions because he is already over a year old and I'm looking forward to when Harmony can react in that way. Right now its just shock and awe which is still really cute. I love going to Disneyland because it's a safe and fun environment to just walk around. Most of the time when we go we don't even go on rides, we just walk around for exercise. I could go every day and it would never get old! If we ever move away from here I will miss Disneyland the most (and In n Out!)

On Thursday night Chris and I went to go see X and the B-52's at the OC fair with my sister and her boyfriend. It was a lot of fun and it was really the first time I got to cut loose in a while. My sister volunteered to drive so I didn't have to worry about how much I had to drink and my mom and dad watched Harmony so I felt totally comfortable leaving her for a few hours. X is my favorite band and I have seen them around 13 times now. It was great to see them again and I always have a great time watching them. It was my second time seeing the B-52's but the first time I was very young so this was a treat. I totally didn't expect them to be so amazing but they really blew me away! I was dancing up a storm! I love getting to do things like that and I just feel really blessed that everything worked out and we were able to have a fantastic evening with no worries or problems. My mom and dad even said that Harmony was an absolute angel the whole evening and even soothed herself to sleep with no crying!!

Last night and today have been a different story though. Harmony is teething and she is very uncomfortable and whiny/fussy. I hope she isn't like this all day because I really want to take her and Chris to this awesome park I just discovered in our city! Heres to adventure everyone! Have an awesome weekend!!!

Sharing magical memories with daddy...

We ran into our cousin at the concert, so good to see him!

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Dear Harmony - 13 weeks

Dear Harmony,

Yesterday you turned 3 months old! My goodness!! I love how much more alert and aware you are these days. You have been babbling and cooing so much more and really starting to notice me and your father. I love that when I am holding you you look at dad like you want to be with him so badly, but then when I hand you over to him you just look back at me ! You are really funny and sweet and kind of soft spoken. I know a lot of other babies your age have already started laughing, but you don't really laugh much. I feel like you are more of a serious person and you dont just laugh at anything. I'd like to think that makes you intelligent.

This past week was very challenging for both of us! I got a horrible case of allergies half way through the week and I was feeling terrible. I could barely give you the attention you needed and I felt so bad! My head was throbbing and I felt dizzy and weak. Of course this had to happen right when you had your 3 month growth spurt! You were up all night wanting to eat and you were eating for 45 minutes at a time! This is really a lot of eating for you because you usually only like to eat for 10 minutes. I was feeling exhausted and stretched pretty thin. Then dad started to get the allergy bug too, so that wasn't fun. I spent a lot of time on the couch watching Mad Men but you were good to me. You let me get away with it :)

On Saturday we bought you a chair that supports you so you could sit up and it has a tray with a bunch of fun toys on it. I don't think you really appreciate those toys yet but I know you will! Its just cute to watch you sit there and stare at the toys not knowing what the heck you are supposed to do with them. Your curious look is really adorable. The weekend was actually full of fun experiences because on Sunday we took you to California Adventure! We have passes and we have taken you there plenty of times already but this was the first time you reacted to things. We took you on the Little Mermaid Ride and you were shocked and amazed by all of the sounds, colors, lights, and music. I got very emotional because all through my pregnancy, dad and I went to Disneyland so much and we would just fantasize about how much fun it was going to be to have you there with us. This experience was the first time that fantasy really came to life for us and I just cant wait to take you there again. We are going tonight actually and I am thrilled to see how you will react to another little ride!

You are an angel in disguise my little momo. Never change! :-P

Monday, July 8, 2013

Mama Monday #5

I feel like this Mama Monday concept is kind of limiting my blogging. I want this blog to be about motherhood in general and so to make Monday the designated day to talk about being a mother makes me not able to talk about that throughout the week. From now on I am going to make Mama Monday a series of letters to my baby girl that she can read someday. I know this probably isn't the most interesting thing for other people to read (or maybe it is! I know I love to read sentimental posts like these) but this will allow me to write more freely later in the week. Many time I will think of something to write about on, say, a Wednesday, and think "well, I should wait until Mama Monday" and then by then I have too many things to potentially write about and I can't choose and I get too distracted.

Okay..I think you all get the point. HAPPY MONDAY EVERY ONE - Hope you all had a wonderful long holiday weekend.

Dear Harmony,

You are 12 weeks old today and I can't believe how much you have grown in such a short period of time. It still feels like I just had you, but you are already starting to outgrow your 3 month clothes! Every day I see more of your personality starting to show and it's really a thrill. You are so smiley! You smile as soon as you wake up in the morning all the way until it is bed time at night. I read to you every morning and you smile the entire time. As soon as you hear daddy's voice you smile so big your whole body shakes. I always want to remember you as this tiny little ball of happiness. I feel so lucky that I get to spend all day with you to make sure you are always happy and safe.

In the beginning, I was so tired and worried sick about everything. I couldn't find my confidence and I was so worried I wasn't doing it right! But as the weeks have gone on I have slowly been figuring things out - it also helps that you practically sleep through the night and started doing so at only 6 weeks!

I love to watch you sleep because you look so peaceful. I hope you always feel close enough with me to take naps together . You are starting to take less naps because you are so consumed with taking the world around you in that you don't want to miss out. I can totally relate to you there! There is so much world to see and you have only seen such a tiny part of it, it excites to me to imagine all of the places I will take you as you grow. You have also discovered your hands and have become quite fond of them. You love to suck and chew on them and you are starting to grab and hold things. you especially like you bunny blanket, I think she is your best friend. I call her your bun-bun, maybe you will too once you learn to talk. For now, you are making all sorts of adorable noises. You "talk" to me and your bun-bun off and on during the day, but when Daddy is around you talk non-stop! You love to carry on "conversations" with him and I love to watch you two interact. It makes my heart sing. YOU make my heart sing.

Speaking of singing, I have been singing to you every day since you were born. I first started singing "Dream A Little Dream of Me" right from your first day home and I sing it every day. Now when you are upset or fussy I sing that song and you calm down right away. It's the most amazing thing. This morning I sang "Edelweiss" and "Somewhere Over The Rainbow" and you were smiling and cooing like you wanted to join in. I hope someday you do!

I can go on forever about the things we have already shared together but I wont, I'll save more for later. I just love you so much and I cherish every second we have the privilege of sharing together. Oh! You just woke up! I better make sure you're okay. I love you lil momo

Love, mama

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

JULY GOALS - link up

Monthly Goals
June Recap:

Eat healthy: I would say I did an overall good job at this, although I should probably eat more since I am breastfeeding

Workout regularly: FAIL. Its so hard to find time to exercise regularly because of the baby, hopefull I can figure out a plan that works for me soon.

Finish a book: FAIL. Maybe I need to start a different book, the book I am reading is just not interesting me at all.

Finish a knitting project: FAIL. I ran out of yarn! (I'm such a rookie)

Oh, June, where did you go!?


Finish a book!

Start redoing my patio/balcony so my husband and I can sit out there and enjoy the summer

Start a blog schedule.

Finish a knitting project!!

Put up the clothes I want to sell on Ebay

Hopefully, this month takes its time! I need to get motivated and I think this linkup is a great idea. Its nice to share goals with others and see what other people are getting accomplished. 
Thanks for stoppin by!

Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Mama Monday (on a Tuesday....woops!)

So I had a very busy Monday because my little one is going through a growth spurt and she wont let me leave her side for more than a few minutes so Im sneaking this in while she naps this morning! I read a very thoughtful article yesterday here and it really made me think about how I see myself.

Ever since I hit puberty when I was 12 I had issues with my weight. I was never a heavy person but I truly saw myself that way. I struggled with bulimia and anorexia off and on all through high school and into college. When I met my husband I was extremely sick and underweight. I barely ate anything and was participating in a plethora of unhealthy habits (smoking, drinking, etc.)

When we were dating I was so happy that I forgot all about that stuff and really started to enjoy life. Once I was pregnant we just decided to indulge and allow ourselves to gain as much weight as we wanted (he decided to do it with me so I wouldn't feel bad, what a sweetie!) and so I gained A LOT of weight. my metabolism was so messed up from the eating disorders that before I even got pregnant I had gained 30 pounds and then throughout my pregnancy I gained another 60. So, in one year I gained 90 pounds. (yes, my husband and I met got married and got pregnant all in one year, crazy I know) Now that my daughter is here I am (very) slowly losing the weight and I have to admit its been really hard on me.

Reading that article made me feel terrible! I should not be so worried about how I look. Harmony is going to see me for what I am, her loving mother. I dont ever want her to go through the things I went through and I realize that I am the first role model she is going to have. I want to show her that life is so much more than being thin. Being a mother has really opened my eyes to how I see myself. I look at pictures of me from before and see how thin I was and it is so sad to me because at that time I truly believed I looked fat. Now I look at myself in the mirror and I feel sexy, curvy, and beautiful. But every once in a while I see a picture that my husband took of me and I think "wow, I'm not sexy at all, I look HUGE!" Why do I do that to myself? It's almost like my brain is so used to thinking that way that I can't help it. I let a picture dictate how I feel when on most days I am feeling amazing! My confidence is higher than it ever has been in my life as well as my happiness.

I feel fulfilled on so many different levels, I don't even know that person who was starving before. I want my daughter to be strong and confident and full of self esteem (all of the things I lost when I hit puberty). I understand that puberty is a tough time for everyone and that most girls go through this at that age but I believe it is because of our society and our surroundings. I live in southern California and it is even more superficial here than other places in America. I have to start really focusing on what I say around her and to her. I need to make sure she is reading appropriate books and not watching too much television that would influence her negatively. I am a young mom, and when I was thinking about getting pregnant I didn't think about all of the things I would be worried about as a mom. I always thought I would be the "cool" mom and be super relaxed in my parenting style. Now that that time in my life is here, I see how much more important it is to be a positive role model as well as a friend. The things I went through in my adolescence were serious and life threatening and I dont just mean the eating problems. She is my creation and I have to stay strong for her above all else.

Sorry this is so long winded, I started with one idea and just got so wrapped up in my feelings. But, this is my blog and I choose to be personal. Women are beautiful and we run the world! Let's start believing that and showing our children what life is really about - family, happiness, truth, freedom - forget the outer candy coated shell.

Monday, June 24, 2013

Mama Monday #3

Happy Monday!! I have decided that there is just no way I can regularly post on the weekends. I am just too busy spending time with Chris and Harmony to be on the internet. So, onto Mama Monday!
This past week I have been thinking about all of these things that the internet and all of those new parenting books are telling us moms to do these days! There is so much pressure and stress put on new moms about how we should be taking care of our babies. First of all, I think all of the emphasis on interacting and stimulating your baby is a little excessive. Of course you shouldn't just ignore your baby all day, but every baby needs alone time to take everything in on their own terms. I know my parents weren't always entertaining me when I was a baby and I was an early walker, talker, and reader. Same with my husband and his parents. I read on Babycenter groups that I belong to about moms who are feeling guilty because they dont feel like they can provide enough entertainment for their babies all day long when babies are entertained on their own! Every single thing is a new experience to them, they dont need us constantly shoving toys in their faces! We are being told that if we don't interact and do these developmental activities with our babies they will be slow and stupid which is completely not true. These are all new philosophies that our parents and their parents before them didn't take part in and we are all fine! I think this is such a problem because new moms already have so much stress to deal with and all of this stuff just piles up and makes us feel guilty and inadequate and that is the last thing we need at this time in our lives. Follow your instincts. Babies do not get bored! If you continually entertain your baby they will think that is what they need and then they will grow up to be children that need entertainment. I admit in the beginning I felt I wasn't doing enough but my baby is hitting her developmental milestones right as she should be, so I want other moms out there to know YOU ARE DOING A GREAT JOB! DONT STRESS ABOUT YOUR LEARNING BABY! Take time for you and get some food in your body! :) I know this post is probably a little all over the place so sorry about that. I just want to encourage moms to be themselves and take care of your baby the way that feels right to you and stop reading all of these articles that try and make you feel like a horrible mother! Your baby (and your brain!) will thank you. Follow on Bloglovin

Thursday, June 20, 2013


Reading:  Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison.  I probably should have read this book back in high school, but none of my teachers assigned it to me. I also should have finished it months ago since thats when I started reading it! I was given my copy from my favorite teacher my junior year and I never got around to reading it but I have been trying to read all the books I own before I buy anymore. I have quite the library already!! I've also been reading the classic children's books Are You My Mother? and Go Dog, Go! By P.D. Eastman to Harmony every day...she loves the pictures! She smiles every time I turn the page, too cute!

Listening to: Classical, classical, and more classical! Our local classical station here, KUSC, has been playing a special series this week called "The Magical Mystery Tour" and basically every hour they play 3 songs that have to do with a certain location in the world (although one hour they did the moon!) Listeners are encouraged to guess where the tour is at for that hour, it's really fun and interesting.

Working on: My very first first knitting project. I am attempting to knit some mary jane slippers in a really nice deep purple/burgundy color. I really hope they turn out right!

Thinking about: My growing daughter! She is 9 weeks this week and I just can't get over how big she seems already! All of the noises, smiles, and personality that comes from that girl just amazes me and I can't stop thinking about all of the fun times ahead.

Watching: Chris and I always end our day watching an episode or two of the series we are currently hooked on. Right now we are watching Arrested Development (he has never seen the whole thing!) so we can finally watch the 4th season. We are also watching Death Note which is my favorite anime and I have been begging him to watch it with me. We are half way through and he totally likes it just like I knew he would.

Loving: My life as a stay at home mom. I wasn't sure I would like it at first, but I'm really starting to get into a routine of sorts and I'm excited to get more productive in the weeks/months to come. I love being home with my baby and I also love that Chris gets to come home for lunch every day to spend some time with us! Of course, the weekends are my favorite :)

This post was inspired by Danielle at Sometimes Sweet

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Monday, June 17, 2013

Mama Monday

Happy Monday everyone! This weekend was so busy with Father's Day stuff that I couldn't get around to posting about June Boom! Week 2, but I will admit that last week wasn't as successful as Week 1. I still managed to eat semi-healthy, but I didn't have as much time to exercise because Harmony is just so unpredictable with her sleep/feed pattern right now! Better luck this week I hope!

Anyways...its Monday and so its time to reflect on being a mama :). 

This may seem kind of morbid to some people, but I have a bad habit of thinking about our short stay here on earth. I have always had a severe anxiety about death and dying. Since I got married I cant stop thinking about how our entire lifetime just isn't long enough to spend together. He is my best friend and I just don't ever want to think about the end. Now that there is another little person in our family, there is another person to worry about losing. I never imagined the kind of love I would have for this baby. She is my world! I hold her so tight and look at her all day with tears in my eyes. I can't imagine losing this girl. EVER.

5 years ago my older brother passed away. At that time I was so selfish with how I handled his death. I was 19 and just completely lost. I took my anger and devastation and turned it into a path of self destruction. I was selfish because how could I think that I was the only one affected by this loss? I knew my mother was upset of course, but I couldn't fathom the depth of her grief until now. Knowing how I feel about this beautiful child of mine, there is just no way I could have handled that loss as gracefully as my mother did. She deserved so much more love and support than I gave her and there isn't anything I can do or say to make it up to her. 

Being a mother has made me realize so much and has helped me mature in many ways. I think the realization that my parents love me the way I love Harmony is really the most important realization anyone can have when they have children. Our parents loved us this way. Wow...what an ungrateful little nightmare I was!! I hope I can show Harmony (and my husband) every day how important family is and the kind of love we have for each other is immeasurable. I also hope I can show my parents how grateful I am for the years of love and PATIENCE they showed me, because you never really know when it will be "too late"

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Sunday picnic 06/09 - Making new traditions

This past Sunday we went on our first family picnic. It was such a beautiful day and we thought it would be a great day to go sit in the park and watch Harmony take it all in. We intended to read on our picnic but didn't really get the chance - oh well!

I made us some sandwiches and a big salad as well as celery with peanut butter and some watermelon. It was all so delicious and refreshing we decided to make it a new tradition of ours. We will try to go to a park every Sunday and pack a healthy meal and bring some books. Hopefully we stick to it!

The salad was super tasty. I used:

1 romaine heart
1 yellow bell pepper
1 cucumber
baby spinach
italian dressing

The bell peppers gave the whole thing such an awesome flavor! (I used to not like bell peppers so this was a big deal to me) 

Overall, it was a fantastic day and I can't wait to go again. What are some of your favorite sunny day activities? 

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Monday, June 10, 2013

Mama Monday

Happy Monday everyoneI am going to be starting my own Mama Monday series where I will be discussing things that I have encountered/noticed and learned as a new mom watching this angel grow week by week! Here we go :)

One thing that I have been thinking about a lot lately is how Harmony sees me. Since I had the privilege of carrying her inside of me for 10 months, I already loved her the day we first met. She was the most beautiful and magical thing I have ever seen. Now, 8 weeks later, I am growing to love her more each day. The thing that I find strange is that I don't really know her. She is like a tiny little stranger living in my house that I am completely responsible for. I have no idea what type of person she will turn out to be or even really what kind of child she will be. She can't tell me what she likes and what she doesn't like or that she loves me. In fact, I don't think she does love me at all, she just knows I am the person that gives her food and is there to comfort her all day, every day. 

When Chris comes home from work she is like a different baby. She is smiley, makes all sorts of cute noises, and just loves to interact with her daddy. When I am alone with her all day I have to try so hard to get her to smile. Chris tells me its probably because she is just used to having me around, like I'm not a new fun face for her because we spend so much time together. I think a lot of new moms experience that feeling that their baby doesn't like them. I know I get that feeling a lot!! But when she is distressed and she is crying her head off, I am the only one who can calm her down and that feels pretty damn good. 

So, even though she doesn't know she loves me yet, I take solace in the fact that she does know she can trust me and her love will grow from there. Then, when the time is right, she will finally be able to tell me how much she loves me and all of this uncertainty and hard work will be so so worth it! I love this journey of motherhood already and I am so happy it is just beginning.

I would love to hear your thoughts on this topic...Did you every feel your baby didn't like you? Did you instantly feel a connection with your baby? 

Sunday, June 9, 2013


This month Chris and I decided to set some goals for ourselves and we decided June would be called JUNE BOOM! Our goals are:

1. Stick to our diet - Which just means eat healthier and not out at restaurants!

2. Exercise regularly

3. Journal regularly

4. FINISH A BOOK - We both made the goal at the beginning of the year to finish 25 books by 2014 and it hasn't been going very well for either of us!

5. Finish a knitting project - This one is just for me. I started to learn how to knit while I was pregnant and I got the basics down, I just haven't had the chance to actually try and knit something that I can use yet.

So, it is now the end of week 1 of JUNE BOOM! and I am feeling amazing! I started mediating every day just for 5 minutes at a time. I find it so challenging to just clear my mind, it's something that I have always struggled with, but it definitely has gotten easier over the week. Tomorrow I will start doing it for 10 minutes so we will see how that goes!

I also have been sticking to the exercise goal which is pretty hard with a tiny baby always needing me! In the morning when she has her first nap I make sure I meditate and then do some yoga. If I feel like I have extra time I will do some strength training or pilates before I take a quick shower. Once she wakes up I wont have time to do any of that stuff so sometimes it does feel a little rushed. Im just glad I get to do anything at all! It feels so nice to use my body like that again after my long pregnancy. Also, Chris and I have been taking power walks in the park when he gets home from work with the baby. Its a great way for us to get outside and move our bodies while also getting a chance to talk about our days and just be together.

As for our diet, we did very well this week. We ate tons of salads and fruits and managed to eat all of our produce for the week as well as all of our leftovers! Success!

I have made some progress on my book that I am reading but I did not get to write in my journal or knit at all this week...Guess we can't win them all!

I will be posting about JUNE BOOM! Every Sunday evening this month..

I hope every one had an awesome weekend!

Do you have any goals set for yourself this month or this season? How do you try to stay healthy?

Thursday, June 6, 2013

Motherhood - And getting back on my feet!

On April 15 our little baby girl Harmony May was born. It was the most amazing thing I have ever experienced as well as the most difficult and rewarding! My husband was the most amazing partner through it all and I couldn't be more grateful for all of his help and support. He was with me and the baby at home for the first month and so we went through the highs and the lows together all day every day for 4 weeks and it was intense! (Thanks for putting up with these hormones babe ;])

It has now been a little over 7 weeks since she was born and I'm finally starting to get the hang of this stay at home mom thing. I am determined to get a routine established so I can start doing some more things for me! The more she grows the more she wants to be stimulated and so it is very hard to get much accomplished throughout the day. I want to start making this blog more of a priority so hopefully I can stick to it. 

With my new life brings all kinds of new ideas and goals for myself. I would like to use the time I do get for me being productive with creative projects and crafts. I will be using this blog to share my ideas, projects, and thoughts on motherhood. I am thrilled about being a stay at home mom and raising this beautiful baby girl. We are so blessed! I couldn't be happier or more in love with her, my husband, and this life I get to live!

Sunday, February 17, 2013

Lovely Sunday

What a wondeful and productive day it has been! I started my day with some fresh squeezed grapefruit juice and decided I want to drink it every day! It is so yummy, refreshing, and healthy.
Then I made a smoothie for Chris and myself to enjoy while breakfast was cooking.
I used: blueberry juice, 2 whole bananas, some frozen strawberries, raspberries, blackberries, and blueberries, vanilla yogurt, and some honey. It was very sweet and my husband loved it :). I used to work at a smoothie shop so I dont really have measurements for these ingredients as I eyeball it most of the time, but I know that  I use about 10 oz of juice if I am making enough for 2 people. If I want it to be thick I will use more frozen fruit and if I want it thin, I use a little less and put more fresh fruit in....its all up to you!

My husband made me a breakfast burrito (I ended up eating 2 of them!) Just some of his special scrambled eggs with cheese and bacon. Simple and filling!

Yesterday was our baby shower and we had a great time. We had around 40 guests and it was so much fun to see family and friends mingle. We were showered with so much generosity it was amazing! Little Harmony already has more clothes than her daddy does (which is pretty impressive, daddy has TONS of clothes :-P) I feel so grateful that our families are so excited for her arrival, it makes it all the more exciting for me. 

We had a lot of cleaning and organizing to take care of in order to fit all of this new stuff so we worked on that while we cooked a pot roast. We got the recipe here and it turned out so good! We will definitely be making it again. We got a really nice dutch oven from Chris' parents for our wedding and it has been a lot of fun learning to use it and finding new recipes. 

Now that the day is coming to an end I feel so accomplished and ready to relax! Only 3 weeks left of working and then I can really let my nesting instincts fly!!! 

Happy Sunday everyone!!!

Friday, February 15, 2013

Update - Pregnancy

I am now almost 33 weeks pregnant and I just wanted to take a moment to reflect on the ups and downs I have experienced so far.

Pregnancy has been the most intense experience I have ever been through in my life. It is not only physically tiring but emotionally as well. Of course, I knew going into this that it was going to be hard but I never knew/imagined it would be like this.
In the beginning, I was an emotional wreck. My hormones were uncontrollable and I was not the most pleasant person to be around. I was also extremely exhausted and was going to sleep every night at 7:30! The first ultrasound we went to where she actually looked like a tiny baby was so amazing. I couldn't stop myself from crying and getting emotional but, it still didn't really seem real to me. The first trimester was a blur and I went back and forth from being happy to actually second guessing our decision of having a child.
The second trimester was a lot different. I started to get my energy back and my hormones started to balance out a little more (thank heavens!). We found out we were having a little girl and then we were able to start calling her by her name: Harmony. That was about 14 weeks ago now but, it feels like eons ! Always talking about her, "When Harmony is here...." or "Harmony is going to love this..." etc.. the anticipation just grows and grows every day!
I started to notice that I was becoming more and more nurturing and maternal. When I started my journey I was just a 23 year old who fell in love and wanted to start a family but I still had the notion that I could party and hang with friends, still do what I wanted (to a certain extent!) As the months have gone by, I have given up most of my friends and all of my bad habits and I don't feel 23 anymore at all! At least, I don't relate to any 23 year old I know/knew.
My husband and I have grown so close that I couldn't imagine spending any time apart from him at all. He is now my best friend and the one I go to for ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING. The bond that has grown between us because of Harmony is incomparable to anything I have ever felt with any man, or person for that matter. I now look at children in a different way and I look at myself in a different way. I want to be the best mom/wife/person I can be. I want to be a role model for my children and I want to be someone my husband can always turn to and count on. This personal growth is really amazing considering where I came from - self loathing and self destruction. I knew pregnancy would change my life but I didn't think I would truly become a woman over the course of just 8 months.
Now that I am in my third trimester and my pregnancy is coming to an end I feel I have come full circle. From going through periods of fear and uncertainty to being so excited and ready for this miracle, I feel SO grateful that I was given this opportunity to become who I was supposed to be. I feel lucky that my relationship with my husband has grown into what it has and that I have had him for support this entire time. I also feel anticipation and excitement to meet my little girl who I love so much already and to grow up even more and watch her grow as well.
I hear a lot of women say that they hate being pregnant, and I went through that same feeling for a while, but I just cant honestly say I feel that way when it has done so much for me! It hasn't been easy - it can be downright painful/uncomfortable most of the time - but I wouldn't feel so proud of myself if it were easy!

All mothers should love themselves for creating a miracle and being a serious ass kicker!!!

Thursday, January 24, 2013

My favorite weather

Ah, the rain...I wish it rained like this every day. I am always in such a good mood on days like this and it frustrates me that I live in a place where it's sunny almost year round! Maybe someday we can relocate to a more damp climate, but until then I just have to enjoy this while it lasts!

Tuesday, January 22, 2013


Chris and I went to see Lincoln on Sunday afternoon and I was so impressed with the entire movie. Not only was Daniel Day-Lewis outstanding (of course!), but it was truly entertaining and inspiring throughout. The costumes, the scenery, the acting...BRAVO! I felt it was appropriate that we saw it when we did since Martin Luther King Jr. Day was yesterday as well as Inauguration Day! Lincoln was such a great man, so much so that he was a legend before he even left this earth. I felt the movie did an outstanding job portraying how awe-inspiring he was and how powerful it must have been to even be in his presence. He was the kind of man that would do anything to accomplish what he felt was necessary and just. He wasn't afraid of public opinion or what may happen to him, he only cared about the rights of man and equality in this country. In the end of the film I was so saddened by his assassination. Even though I knew it was coming the entire time, I couldn't help but think of what America would be like if that wouldn't have happened and I was wishing so badly that it didn't.

Thinking about his tragic end and what it meant, Martin Luther King comes to mind. How terrible that these great men are taken from this world when they are only doing what is right. I think Obama is a perfect figure to be sworn in on this day because he also moves and inspires people and he is not afraid of what people may think about his views. I am proud that he is our president because he too wants to fight for the rights of all people (all races, homosexuals, women) and is not afraid to speak on his ideals. I will definitely be showing this movie to my children and I cant wait to teach them more about these motivational people in our history!

Friday, January 18, 2013

January is moving right along

I decided that for the new year I would start making this blog more personal. My husband Christopher and I are starting a family and expecting our first daughter in a few months so I would like this blog to serve as a place that we can keep our memories in one place.
One of our New Years Resolutions this year is to read 25 books in 2013 (about 2 a month). We have both found it difficult to find the time to sit and get any reading done but when we do it is SO worth it. I just finished The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho and I really enjoyed it. It was a fairly quick read with so many life lessons packed into it! I have read 2 of his books before (Veronika Decides to Die and Eleven Minutes) and I always walk away from his stories feeling so good inside, so I probably will be reading more of his books this year! Christopher is reading one of my personal favorites Franny and Zooey by JD Salinger, but he has an even harder time finding time to read since he is always taking such good care of me!

Another New Years Res. is to start cooking more and finally using those recipes I keep pinning on Pinterest! Last night we made chicken enchiladas and I'm SO proud of myself!!! (This iPhone pic does NOT do them justice!)

The salsa was the best part! Tomatillos, jalapeƱo, and poblano...delicious!

There are so many positive things happening I just can't wait to see what else 2013 brings!

"When each day is the same as the next, it's because people fail to recognize the good things that happen in their lives every day that the sun rises." - Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist