Mama Monday #5

I feel like this Mama Monday concept is kind of limiting my blogging. I want this blog to be about motherhood in general and so to make Monday the designated day to talk about being a mother makes me not able to talk about that throughout the week. From now on I am going to make Mama Monday a series of letters to my baby girl that she can read someday. I know this probably isn't the most interesting thing for other people to read (or maybe it is! I know I love to read sentimental posts like these) but this will allow me to write more freely later in the week. Many time I will think of something to write about on, say, a Wednesday, and think "well, I should wait until Mama Monday" and then by then I have too many things to potentially write about and I can't choose and I get too distracted.

Okay..I think you all get the point. HAPPY MONDAY EVERY ONE - Hope you all had a wonderful long holiday weekend.


Dear Harmony,

You are 12 weeks old today and I can't believe how much you have grown in such a short period of time. It still feels like I just had you, but you are already starting to outgrow your 3 month clothes! Every day I see more of your personality starting to show and it's really a thrill. You are so smiley! You smile as soon as you wake up in the morning all the way until it is bed time at night. I read to you every morning and you smile the entire time. As soon as you hear daddy's voice you smile so big your whole body shakes. I always want to remember you as this tiny little ball of happiness. I feel so lucky that I get to spend all day with you to make sure you are always happy and safe.

In the beginning, I was so tired and worried sick about everything. I couldn't find my confidence and I was so worried I wasn't doing it right! But as the weeks have gone on I have slowly been figuring things out - it also helps that you practically sleep through the night and started doing so at only 6 weeks!

I love to watch you sleep because you look so peaceful. I hope you always feel close enough with me to take naps together . You are starting to take less naps because you are so consumed with taking the world around you in that you don't want to miss out. I can totally relate to you there! There is so much world to see and you have only seen such a tiny part of it, it excites to me to imagine all of the places I will take you as you grow. You have also discovered your hands and have become quite fond of them. You love to suck and chew on them and you are starting to grab and hold things. you especially like you bunny blanket, I think she is your best friend. I call her your bun-bun, maybe you will too once you learn to talk. For now, you are making all sorts of adorable noises. You "talk" to me and your bun-bun off and on during the day, but when Daddy is around you talk non-stop! You love to carry on "conversations" with him and I love to watch you two interact. It makes my heart sing. YOU make my heart sing.

Speaking of singing, I have been singing to you every day since you were born. I first started singing "Dream A Little Dream of Me" right from your first day home and I sing it every day. Now when you are upset or fussy I sing that song and you calm down right away. It's the most amazing thing. This morning I sang "Edelweiss" and "Somewhere Over The Rainbow" and you were smiling and cooing like you wanted to join in. I hope someday you do!

I can go on forever about the things we have already shared together but I wont, I'll save more for later. I just love you so much and I cherish every second we have the privilege of sharing together. Oh! You just woke up! I better make sure you're okay. I love you lil momo

Love, mama

Mama Monday

Happy Monday everyone! This weekend was so busy with Father's Day stuff that I couldn't get around to posting about June Boom! Week 2, but I will admit that last week wasn't as successful as Week 1. I still managed to eat semi-healthy, but I didn't have as much time to exercise because Harmony is just so unpredictable with her sleep/feed pattern right now! Better luck this week I hope!

Anyways...its Monday and so its time to reflect on being a mama :). 

This may seem kind of morbid to some people, but I have a bad habit of thinking about our short stay here on earth. I have always had a severe anxiety about death and dying. Since I got married I cant stop thinking about how our entire lifetime just isn't long enough to spend together. He is my best friend and I just don't ever want to think about the end. Now that there is another little person in our family, there is another person to worry about losing. I never imagined the kind of love I would have for this baby. She is my world! I hold her so tight and look at her all day with tears in my eyes. I can't imagine losing this girl. EVER.

5 years ago my older brother passed away. At that time I was so selfish with how I handled his death. I was 19 and just completely lost. I took my anger and devastation and turned it into a path of self destruction. I was selfish because how could I think that I was the only one affected by this loss? I knew my mother was upset of course, but I couldn't fathom the depth of her grief until now. Knowing how I feel about this beautiful child of mine, there is just no way I could have handled that loss as gracefully as my mother did. She deserved so much more love and support than I gave her and there isn't anything I can do or say to make it up to her. 

Being a mother has made me realize so much and has helped me mature in many ways. I think the realization that my parents love me the way I love Harmony is really the most important realization anyone can have when they have children. Our parents loved us this way. Wow...what an ungrateful little nightmare I was!! I hope I can show Harmony (and my husband) every day how important family is and the kind of love we have for each other is immeasurable. I also hope I can show my parents how grateful I am for the years of love and PATIENCE they showed me, because you never really know when it will be "too late"

California Adventure on Thursday

This smile...

Love

Motherhood - And getting back on my feet!

On April 15 our little baby girl Harmony May was born. It was the most amazing thing I have ever experienced as well as the most difficult and rewarding! My husband was the most amazing partner through it all and I couldn't be more grateful for all of his help and support. He was with me and the baby at home for the first month and so we went through the highs and the lows together all day every day for 4 weeks and it was intense! (Thanks for putting up with these hormones babe ;])

It has now been a little over 7 weeks since she was born and I'm finally starting to get the hang of this stay at home mom thing. I am determined to get a routine established so I can start doing some more things for me! The more she grows the more she wants to be stimulated and so it is very hard to get much accomplished throughout the day. I want to start making this blog more of a priority so hopefully I can stick to it. 

With my new life brings all kinds of new ideas and goals for myself. I would like to use the time I do get for me being productive with creative projects and crafts. I will be using this blog to share my ideas, projects, and thoughts on motherhood. I am thrilled about being a stay at home mom and raising this beautiful baby girl. We are so blessed! I couldn't be happier or more in love with her, my husband, and this life I get to live!